quotable

from david kuo's blog ...

I'm still in a round of chemo and therefore the world is a bit fuzzier than it normally is. As such clarity isn't necessarily found all that easily.

On the other hand though, there is a clarity that comes with chemo that is invaluable.

It is my monthly reminder of mortality, my monthly reset button that brings me back to the point of remembering what really matters and what really doesn't and the difference between the two. It is kind of stunning that I need this monthly reminder. You'd think, really, that that brain tumor surgery or the regular checkups would do the trick - and they have and do in their own way. But the chemo is different, it is just more regular.

seeing kids fighting for their lives every day makes me remember not to take life and people i love for granted. i don't want to ever stop feeling this way. sometimes i just have to stop and think, will this thing that i'm freaking out about matter tomorrow or next week or next month or next year? usually not.

i'm feeling

:nostalgic because of the crisp, fall air

:hopeful for things to come

:cosy under a warm blanket and sweats

:happy because my foodie magazines came

:fulfilled because my job matters

:hungry for some mac n cheese

recap of lately

• so i've been off for almost 2 weeks now - it's been wonderful - i don't wanna go back yet!
• brandon and i went to charleston, sc for a few days - weather was perfect, and it was so nice to get away. thanks soo much to the gardner's for letting us stay in their beautiful house!
• we shopped, saw a couple of movies, ate at our fav's (the boathouse and mellow mushroom) twice each, and sat on the beach. awesome.
• andrew and gini joined us for the weekend, and we had a blast. love my little brother and his wife.
• brandon drove back to cincy, and i stayed for a few more days w/ my family. mom and i shopped, and i got to spend time with 2 of my best friends. i flew back thursday.
• kevin and susan had us over friday night for some yummy lasagna (she is the best cook!) and we watched 300. i must say i was a sceptic, but it turned out to be a good movie.
• mine and b's teams won this weekend - bulldogs and gamecocks!
• i kept our good friend's baby liam this weekend while they went to a wedding in ky. he is such a good baby, and i must say our first overnight babysitting of an actual baby went really well!
• today was our church's 2-yr. anniversary! it was such an encouraging morning seeing all that God has done in the last year even. brandon and the band kicked butt too!
• tomorrow i plan on getting lots done before going back to work tuesday. but for now, i'm going to relax and watch some football with the hubby ... :)

some vaca photos

the charleston bridge

view from the boathouse - they have the best seafood!

the beach - ahhh

my brother and his wife gini

me and brandon :)

love my husband

charleston, sc - sept. 2009

some really bad days

it seems like things at work lately have been especially difficult.  we've had a lot of acutely ill kids, and many sad family situations as well.  needless today, this past weekend surpassed the amount of sorrow and grief i thought i would experience and witness at one time.  4 of our bmt kids passed away - all within 48 hours of each other.  3 boys, and 1 girl.  2 teens, a toddler, and a child.  it's really hard when one child you care for and get to know their families so well passes away, but when 4 of them do at the same time ... there are really no words.  it's terrible.  my heart breaks for the dear families i've gotten to know, and it is very hard on the nursing staff as well.  when a kid is under your care for literally months and months, you can't help but grow close to them.  i'm not sure where this is going really, just needed to get it out.  

please pray for these 4 families and our nursing staff this week.  it won't be easy.  be thankful for your healthy spouses, children and families - don't take them for granted.